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My husband and I had been trying to get pregnant for almost a year. I think he enjoyed that whole part of it, but that’s going in a whole different direction than I plan on going with this. You see, now that I am 7 months into this adventure, I consider myself an expert on the pros and cons of being knocked up.

Let’s start with some of the pros. I am glowing. I have never felt so alive. My skin and hair are perfect! And aside from the physical stuff there is also all of the excitement and anticipation. Decorating the baby’s room has been so much fun. My mom said we ruined the surprise by finding out that it was a baby girl ahead of time, but I disagree. I was still surprised when the doctor told us what it was going to be!

But there are some down sides to this whole pregnancy thing too. For one thing, I am fat. I am as big as a freaking house. And even though I have been using cocoa butter religiously, I am getting stretch marks. And just thinking about that is getting me cranky because I have been as moody as all get out. It’s a mixed blessing, but the pros far outweigh the cons.

I am ready to have a baby and have been off birth control for over a year now, but nothing has happened yet.  As a woman in my late 20’s this doesn’t seem right, so my husband and I both went in to make sure everything was OK on our end.

The doctor gave us both a clean bill of health and said we were good to go, and he saw no reason why we couldnt’ conceive.  That was 5 months ago.  Now I know that when you go off birth control, sometimes it takes a little bit of time to get back to “normal” or whatever, but it’s been over a year.  What gives?

One of my girlfriends (who is not a doctor!) said it might be because I was on the Ortho Evra patch.  She said it delivered a higher dose than some other forms of birth control, and therefore could be the reason I’m taking longer to conceive. Does this sound right?  I loved the patch when I was on it and never had problems.  Am I paying for it now?

micg inquired:


After my last baby my ob put me on the Depo shot. I loved it! No menstrual cycle, no hassle, no missing pills…. However, after about 2 years, my family doctor would not administer the shot to any more of her patients due to the studies on permanent bone loss caused by it. I was disappointed because it was my preferred method of birth control. Has the information changed in regards to the danger of bone loss? If not, what are some alternative methods?

TELLME inquired:


What choice do they have? Abstention does not seem to be a realistic solution. Or perhaps it is a permissable hypocritical one.

Diana inquired:


Dilatation and Curettage (D&C)Generally performed in the first or early second trimester. The cervix is dilated or stretched to permit the insertion of a loop shaped steel knife. The body of the fetus is cut up and removed from the placenta.
Prostaglandins Injection Performed during the second trimester. Prostaglandins, naturally occurring birthing hormones, are injected to prematurely induce labor. Oftentimes the baby is delivered alive.
Saline Amniocentesis (Salt Poisoning)This method, first used in **** concentration camps and now common in America, is performed during the second or early third trimester. A needle is injected into the abdomen, and 50-250ml of amniotic liquid is removed. This is replaced by a concentrated salt that burns away and deteriorates the baby’s skin. Within three days the mother goes into labor and delivers a dead, burned baby.
Suction Aspiration(vacuum curettage)The most common (98%) form of first trimester abortion6. The cervix is dilated, and a powerful vacuum tube with a sharp cutting edge is inserted. The suction rips apart the body of the baby, and ***** out blood, amniotic fluid, tissue, and body parts.
Partial Birth Abortion Performed during the late second or third trimester. Using ultrasound, the abortionist grasps the baby’s leg with forceps, and partially forcefully delivers all but the head. Scissors are then jammed into the back of the babies skull, and the wound is pried open. A powerful vacuum tube is inserted and ***** out the baby’s brain.